As a general rule, if your song does not include at the very least a chorus participation by Willie Nelson, you are not allowed to say it’s a country song.

But when you think about it, the genre “Country music” makes no sense anyways. Country? Which country? I heard some crappy Armenian music the other day. It definitely comes from a country, even if it is a lowly, shitty one. Can I refer to that song by saying “I just heard some crappy country music”?

It’s these types of rants that earn my psychologist a living every day.