Thank you, Macho Man

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The mystery is finally solved. I now know why it is that we’re still here. I now know, why the world did not end on May 21st. It’s all thanks to one man: Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

The name should be enough, but if you lived under a rock for the past 25 years, here are some reminders:

1. He held twenty championships during his professional wrestling career and was a ten-time world champion.
2. He was the spokesperson for Slim Jim’s only successful marketing campaign, famously finishing TV ads with a raspy “Need a little excitement? snap into a Slim Jim!”
3. He had a small role on the movie Spiderman. He played “Bonesaw”, who was Spidey’s opponent in the ring on the night Uncle Ben is murdered.

Still doesn’t ring a bell? Here’s more help:

Well, as you may know, Randy Savage died on May 20th, one day before the excepted end of the world. It is said that he died in a car accident, possibly having suffered a heart attack, losing control of the vehicle and crashing into a tree. But I believe otherwise.

I believe Macho Man Randy Savage, seeing the demise of humanity upon us, took one for the team. Macho Man died in order to save us from God’s rapture. Here’s proof, provided by @rogeliov21.

Oh, I just can’t wait for my stalker’s reaction to this one…

7 thoughts on “Thank you, Macho Man

  1. Listen Arjan, this is no longer funny. You cannot continue to make fun of my god and think I will not do anything. You are not funny and you are making fun of everyone who knows that Jesus is real.

    I am sure God has punishment for you but if not, I will punish you. I am going to make sure a black guy rapes your asshole with his biggest dick and pushes so hard you have blood coming out of your ass. Pussydick motherfucker you have no idea of the kind of pain I am going to give you and your friends who make fun of me with stupid commenting.

    I will cut your throat in half using a butter knife while I make you eat my dick and choke you with it because I want to make you feel the pain you make everyone who beliefs in Jesus feel.

    You are going to die and then you are going to hell with Macho Man. And Macho Man is going to rape you in hell in the same time as the devil and you will burn in flames when they rape you.

    Die motherfucker

  2. to my Jesus lover

    If you cut his throat while his chocking would that be a Tracheotomy and in fact you would be saving his life?

    How many Dicks does your Black Guy have? And do they go from big to bigger?

    We are going to die, (we all are) so how is that a threat?

    Why is Macho man going to hell? What was his wrong doing?

    If you know he (jesus) is real, it’s because you know him, right, met him and perhaps had coffee with him, and still you haven’t learn shit from him…how is that our fault

    If you don’t like the f.. blog don’t read it bro…. just like I don’t like fairy tales and children’s books so I don’t read the bible….

  3. Alluneedislove

    Jesus is real, and he doesn’t need u crazy asshole, to inflict any pain or punishment…. why do u think God might need u for anything….we’ll, got it!

    He needs scum like u for us….so we can laugh at all ur idiotic and twisted desires….interestingly enough u probably imagined all that nasty and sick sexual shit….ur probably gay and ur father abused u as a child,….so guess who has already won his tickect to hell? Remember homos are not getting into heaven…so enjoy ur hot getaway!

    If u insist in coming to visit us, remember u better bring the big guns, cause if not ur gonna eat bullets as ur last supper!

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