James Holmes, the nut responsible for the Aurora shooting at the Batman premiere last Friday. You’ve owned this edition of the Douchebag of the week awards.
Whenever I am in trouble or about to fall victim to heartless criminals, I don’t call the cops. I don’t wait for crappy superheroes like Batman and Spiderman either. I rely on Hammer Man!
What? You’ve never heard of Hammer Man? Well, that’s just because my main man doesn’t have heavy marketers or Marvel/DC Comics fronting his publicity like those other guys, but if you want to know how he came to be the most kick ass superhero in the world, all you have to do is check out his intro video.
As a general rule, a superhero is an individual with very cool, special abilities which are admired by the rest of us normal humans…
Like Superman who can fly, has X-ray vision and superhuman strength, Or The Human Torch who can become a fireball, shoot fire spurts and fly. Another possibility is being a rich dude who can buy the most kick ass weapons and use them for good… i.e. Batman or Ironman.
Aquaman, you can hold your breath under water and summon manatees and anemone… I’m here to inform you that your superhero license has just been revoked.
Ah, stop crying you loser… we can’t really see your tears underwater anyways.