As a general rule… On female empowerment apparel

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As a general rule, those t-shirts with block letters flaunting the word “BITCH” should never be worn by anyone with the tiniest bit of self-respect.

If you’re a nice girl and you’re wearing it, you look idiotic and have failed at your attempt to seem like a bad ass. You’re not a bad ass. You’re a nice girl. Act nice. You’ll get more sex, trust me on this one.

On the other hand, if you really are a worst pain than having to sit through a whole episode of Downton Abbey, if you’re the most annoying person to be around, I’m sure there is no need for you to advertise it. In other words, bitch we know! There’s no need to spell it out for us.

About these ads

As a general rule… On underwear

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As a general rule, if your company’s name is “Fruit of the Loom” you should focus on selling fruit.

I don’t know what type of sick weirdos work in that company but when I put on a pair of boxer briefs I make sure there are no pieces of fruit looming inside them. I have never fancied mango peels looming around my crotch area.