As a general rule, if the magazine cover does not say the word “sex” at least 6 times, it isn’t a Cosmopolitan.
Ok, so it’s Tuesday. This morning I had a V8 Peach Mango juice and a bowl of cereal for breakfast.
I was not enslaved, I did not do any landscaping and I certainly did not eat Jesus is Real’s dick for breakfast. (Please refer to http://arjanshahani.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/stalker-tuesdays-your-input-needed/#comments for more information on my stalker).
I must say I am a bit disappointed with my stalker’s ability to deliver on his promises. What a ripoff.
More famously known as Dr. Death, Jack Kevorkian passed away on June 3rd, 2011, one week after his 83rd birthday and as a result of a long-term fight against kidney cancer. He was best known for publicly championing a terminal patient’s right to die via physician-assisted suicide; he said he assisted at least 130 patients to that end. He famously said “dying is not a crime”.
Whether readers agreed with his methods or not, his death does hit hard for both sides of the euthanasia debate. I personally found the ethics and moral debates related to this topic fascinating, so I must say I did follow his career to a certain extent.
If you would like to learn more about Kevorkian, I can recommend a great movie starring Al Pacino as Dr. Death himself. The title is “You don’t know Jack.” And if YOU don’t know Jack, you NEED to see this movie.
He scored three of the five goals in the impressive 5-0 score reached by Mexico over El Salvador last night.
This is how mexicans thank him… (sheez)
This is even worse than that Chicharito “Little Pea” / Let it Be song a fat British kid uploaded on YouTube.
Awesome! “Jesus is Real” is back on my blog with his usual antics and threats. This is what he recently shared with me:
You miss me, motherfucker? I’m coming to your hometown to fuck you up boy, that is how much you will miss me. You are going to feel the power of the Lord Jesus Christ fucking you up with a steel rod in your head busted open like a watermelon dripping red liquid all over the place.
You stupid mexican beaner wetback immigrant, you should thank us for letting you live in our country. I am going to make you my slave and my gardener and make you eat my dick fro breakfast every tuesday.
Suck my balls and dick, you pussy.
…And here is my proposal for you, dear readers to have fun with this one. I’m going to post a few questions and I would love to get your input on any/all of them:
1. Since I’m not a Catholic and not very well-versed in scripture, can anyone tell me in what part of the Bible I can find Jesus Christ busting heads with a steel rod? It seems like a riveting chapter and probably a great read.
2. Do you think I should become Jesus is real’s gardener? I don’t have too much practice and I would hate destroying his wonderful outside decor.
3. What is your hypothesis on why Tuesdays should be the chosen day for me to eat his phallus? Get creative on this one!
…But I miss my stalker/hater “Jesus is real.”
I think he only comes out when religion is discussed. Or when he wants to gang rape me with a bunch of other guys including (but not limited too) Macho Man Randy Savage, a black dude and the Devil.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to trace back to: http://arjanshahani.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/thank-you-macho-man/#comments and previous posts.
As a general rule, people who wear knee pads while in-line skating, don’t get their knees scraped when they fall. The flip side is, if you’re wearking knee pads you don’t have to actually fall to look like a complete moron.
Come to think about it, knee pads or no knee pads… what the hell are you doing in-line skating in the first place?