The mystery is finally solved. I now know why it is that we’re still here. I now know, why the world did not end on May 21st. It’s all thanks to one man: Randy “Macho Man” Savage.
The name should be enough, but if you lived under a rock for the past 25 years, here are some reminders:
1. He held twenty championships during his professional wrestling career and was a ten-time world champion.
2. He was the spokesperson for Slim Jim’s only successful marketing campaign, famously finishing TV ads with a raspy “Need a little excitement? snap into a Slim Jim!”
3. He had a small role on the movie Spiderman. He played “Bonesaw”, who was Spidey’s opponent in the ring on the night Uncle Ben is murdered.
Still doesn’t ring a bell? Here’s more help:
Well, as you may know, Randy Savage died on May 20th, one day before the excepted end of the world. It is said that he died in a car accident, possibly having suffered a heart attack, losing control of the vehicle and crashing into a tree. But I believe otherwise.
I believe Macho Man Randy Savage, seeing the demise of humanity upon us, took one for the team. Macho Man died in order to save us from God’s rapture. Here’s proof, provided by @rogeliov21.
Oh, I just can’t wait for my stalker’s reaction to this one…