Ding dong, my stalker’s back


And just when I thought we had said goodbye to our stalker/hater friend, yesterday he decided to stop by and defend my Douchebag of the week recipient, Shirley Phelps Roper.

Here’s what he so eloquently stated:

1. I am happy to inform to my good friend that I have an above average IQ so no, I am not stupid. I do make stupid mistakes every so often… for example, right now I’m answering to “Jesus is Real’s” insults and comments. That might qualify as stupid, but it sure is damn fun so stalker/hater guy, keep your hateful slurs coming. We will gladly tend to them.

2. I do not consider myself a motherfucker. I prefer the term “mother lover” and I actually wrote about it here. 

3. God hates ”fags”? I don’t know which God you may be referring to but I am assuming that you are some form of Christian, which sort of confuses me. To fag means to work strenuously. I thought God rewarded hard labor but maybe I’m wrong. I am no expert in the dark magical arts of believing in invisible people who establish codes of conduct and print them in complex interpretative prose. Now if what you intend to say is that God hates gay people, I’d still question that notion. After all, he sent his son to hang out in a cave with twelve other dudes (or so the story goes).

4. I don’t get your Gamora reference at all. According to Wikipedia, Gamora is a fictional comic book character in Marvel Comics’ shared universe, known as the Marvel Universe. She is the adopted daughter of Thanos and the occasional love interest of Adam Warlock and Nova.  Gamora received treatments from Thanos that enhanced her speed, strength, agility, and durability to rival Adam Warlock’s (to better slay the Magus, his evil future self). Thanos also helped her become a formidable hand-to-hand combatant, trained in the martial arts techniques from various planets, in the uses of the known weaponry of the Milky Way Galaxy, and stealth techniques. She is also a highly skilled gymnast and assassin, and formerly possessed a telepathic link to Thanos. She uses a wide variety of weaponry, most notably a dagger whose unknown properties made it capable of slaying even beings of such godlike power as Thanos and the Magus. While Gamora was with the Infinity Watch, she possessed the Infinity Gem called the “Time Gem”. The gem was mentally linked to her, giving her the potential power to control time. She said that she did not know how to employ its powers and preferred not to use it. While she possessed the Time Gem, Gamora was prone to precognitive dreams and visions, though she had no conscious control over them. 

Plus, from her profile pic, she looks kinda hot. If God sent all gay people to this hot chick, I think they got a pretty sweet deal. I mean, they probably weren’t attracted to her (because they’re gay) and that’s a shame and a waste of a good thing, but still I see no presence of hate in that. Please do elaborate, as we would like this point clarified.

5. If hell does exist and I do end up there, can I get a room with a view? Preferably one that’s far away from your penthouse suite? Thanks in advance, my good man.

Oh yeah, my readers have been curious. Could you tell us if you are 15 years old? Gracias, good buddy. Another hypothesis is that you are Justin Bieber.


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As a general rule… On mother’s day


As a general rule, mom would have preferred you not being an asshole all year over that box of chocolates and balloon you got her. If going through hours of labor pain to get your fat head through and out of her vagina only got her a bunch of mini size Milky Way chocolate bars and a helium filled bag, I think she got the shitty end of the stick… don’t you?